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Starting in middle childhood, cognitive developments result in greater self-awareness, greater awareness of others and their thoughts and judgments, the ability to think about abstract, future possibilities, and the ability to consider multiple possibilities at once. As a result, children experience a significant shift from the simple, concrete, and global self-descriptions typical of young children. Young children defined themselves by physical traits, whereas as they get older, they start to define themselves based on their values, thoughts, and opinions.
One of the ways to gain a clearer sense of self is to exaggerate those qualities that are to be incorporated into the self. Preschoolers often like to exaggerate their own qualities or to seek validation as the biggest or smartest or child who can jump the highest. Much of this may be due to the simple fact that the child does not understand their own limits. Young children may really believe that they can beat their parent to the mailbox, or pick up the refrigerator.
This exaggeration tends to be replaced by a more realistic sense of self in middle childhood as children realize that they do have limitations. Part of this process includes having parents who allow children to explore their capabilities and give the child authentic feedback. Another important part of this process involves the child learning that other people have capabilities, too and that the child’s capabilities may differ from those of other people. Children learn to compare themselves to others to understand what they are “good at” and what they are not as good at.
In middle childhood, self-concept becomes more abstract as children place less emphasis on external, concrete traits. As they enter the school system, they begin to experience more frequent social comparisons. For example, they receive both positive and negative feedback from teachers and parents—such as, “Can’t you be as quiet as your sister?” or “You did really well on this test—good job!” These comparisons contribute to the development of a more complex self-concept. Unlike younger children, who often have an unrealistically positive view of themselves, children in middle childhood begin to recognize both their strengths and weaknesses, forming a more balanced and realistic self-image.
During adolescence, social comparison continues to play a role, but identity exploration becomes increasingly important. Adolescents begin to reflect more deeply on who they are and may reconsider their current commitments in favor of exploring alternatives. This ongoing process leads to a more mature and differentiated self-concept. However, research suggests that about half of adolescents remain uncertain about their identity, and this uncertainty may persist into adulthood.
Adolescents can conceptualize multiple “possible selves” that they could become and long-term possibilities and consequences of their choices. Exploring these possibilities may result in abrupt changes in self-presentation as the adolescent chooses or rejects qualities and behaviors, trying to guide the actual self toward the ideal self (whom the adolescent wishes to be) and away from the feared self (whom the adolescent does not want to be). For many, these distinctions are uncomfortable, but they also appear to motivate achievement through behavior consistent with the ideal and distinct from the feared possible selves.
Further distinctions in self-concept, called “differentiation,” occur as the adolescent recognizes the contextual influences on their behavior and the perceptions of others, and begin to qualify their traits when asked to describe themselves. Differentiation appears fully developed by mid-adolescence. Peaking in the 7th-9th grades, the personality traits adolescents use to describe themselves refer to specific contexts, and therefore may contradict one another. The recognition of inconsistent content in the self-concept is a common source of distress in these years, but this distress may benefit adolescents by encouraging structural development.
Video 7.3.1. Self-Concept, Self-Identity, and Social Identity explains the various types of self and the formation of identity.
