55 Emotion and Emotion Regulation in Middle Childhood and Adolescence

As we move through our daily lives, we experience a variety of emotions. An emotion is a subjective state of being that we often describe as our feelings. Emotions result from the combination of subjective experience, expression, cognitive appraisal, and physiological responses (Levenson, Carstensen, Friesen, & Ekman, 1991).  An emotion often begins with a subjective (individual) experience, which is a stimulus. Often the stimulus is external, but it can also be an internal one. For example, if a child thinks about losing a treasured toy, he or she may become sad even though they still have possession of the toy.  Emotional expression refers to the way one displays an emotion and includes nonverbal and verbal behaviors (Gross, 1999).^[1]

Emotional Regulation and Self Control

Emotional self-regulation refers to strategies we use to control our emotional states so that we can attain goals (Thompson & Goodvin, 2007). This requires effortful control of emotions and initially requires assistance from caregivers (Rothbart, Posner, & Kieras, 2006). Young infants have very limited capacity to adjust their emotional states and depend on their caregivers to help soothe themselves.  It is in early childhood that we see the start of self-control, a process that takes many years to fully develop.

As with most abilities, emotion regulation improves in middle childhood and adolescence compared to earlier stages. Older children have access to a wider range of strategies to help them manage their emotions. One such strategy is cognitive reappraisal, which involves reinterpreting an event to change its emotional impact. For example, imagine not being invited to a classmate’s birthday party. You might initially feel frustrated or left out. Using cognitive reappraisal, you could think, “My classmate only invited really close friends, and now I have more free time this weekend to enjoy things I like.”

Although children at this stage are better able to regulate their emotions, their emotional experiences are more influenced by social relationships. They tend to have a heightened fear of social rejection and are more sensitive to negative social cues. As we discussed in the context of peer relationships, children begin to form broader and more complex friendships. They also spend increasing amounts of time with peers rather than with family members, making them more susceptible to peer influence. This shift in social dynamics can contribute to increased stress as children learn to navigate new interpersonal challenges.

At the same time, family continues to play a crucial role in supporting children’s emotional development. Children benefit from parents who model effective emotional expression and regulation. A positive family climate fosters more positive emotional experiences for the child and can act as a buffer against stress from peer-related challenges.