Changes of Parent-Child Relationship

It is widely recognized that the parent–child relationship evolves significantly throughout a child’s development, with some of the most abrupt changes occurring during adolescence. Despite common perception, it appears that most teens do not experience adolescent “storm and stress” to the degree once famously suggested by G. Stanley Hall, a pioneer in the study of adolescent development. Only small numbers of teens have major conflicts with their parents (Steinberg & Morris, 2001), and most disagreements are minor. For example, in a study of over 1,800 parents of adolescents from various cultural and ethnic groups, Barber (1994) found that conflicts occurred over day-to-day issues such as homework, money, curfews, clothing, chores, and friends. These disputes occur because an adolescent’s drive for independence and autonomy conflicts with the parent’s supervision and control. These types of arguments tend to decrease as teens develop (Galambos & Almeida, 1992).

Increase in Autonomy

Emotional autonomy is a psychological separation from one’s caregivers. It includes a progressive decrease in dependency on their caregivers, individualization, parental de-idealization, and perceiving one’s parents as people (Steinberg & Silberberg, 1986). Despite previous thinking, this is not meant to be the ‘storm and stress’ of adolescent detachment from their family; instead, it is a peaceful process of becoming an individual. Teens are not detaching from their caregivers, but changing their childhood perceptions and dependencies on them. Adolescents will de-idolize their parents and thinking of them more as people.

While the process of developing emotional autonomy is a normal one that usually adaptive in the long-run, it can be distressing at the time. Teens may be experiencing a loss as they lose these childhood conceptualizations of the parents (Hill & Holmbeck, 1986). However, in the end, this emotional distance will allow adolescents to rely more on themselves and develop independence.

Behavioral autonomy, also called decisional autonomy, is the ability to make decisions about one’s behavior (Bosma et al., 1996). Emotional autonomy and behavioral autonomy are highly correlated. As teens become more emotionally autonomous, they desire to make more of their own decisions. With maturation comes increased emotional and behavioral autonomy. However, too much behavioral autonomy too early has been associated with poor adjustment in young teens. Behavioral autonomy in early adolescence has been found to result in higher risk for deviance and poor academic performance (Beyers & Goossens, 1999). Often, parents wonder how much autonomy to allow their teen and at what age.

Co-regulation refers to a form of supervision in which the parent or caregiver provides general oversight while gradually allowing the child to take more responsibility for their own decision-making. As children grow older—particularly as they enter adolescence—they seek greater independence, and co-regulation becomes increasingly common in the parent-child relationship. Rather than making every decision for the child, parents in a co-regulatory role offer guidance, set boundaries, and provide support, while giving the child space to practice autonomy and self-regulation within those limits.

Increase in Conflict

Although most adolescents do not experience severe or long-term conflict with their parents, research consistently shows that the frequency of conflict tends to increase during adolescence. This rise is largely driven by adolescents’ cognitive and social development. As their thinking becomes more sophisticated, they begin to adopt a more egalitarian view of family relationships. Adolescents start to question authority and increasingly see certain domains—such as clothing choices, social life, and use of free time—as matters of personal autonomy rather than areas for parental control. These shifting perceptions often lead to more frequent disagreements as families renegotiate boundaries and expectations.

Despite the increase in conflict, adolescents generally maintain a positive overall perception of their relationship with their parents. Many still view their parents as supportive and caring, even amid more frequent disputes.

Crucially, the manner in which conflicts are managed plays a central role in shaping the long-term quality of the parent–adolescent relationship. When conflicts are resolved through constructive strategies—such as open communication, mutual respect, and problem-solving—they can actually strengthen emotional closeness. In contrast, negative conflict resolution involving emotional volatility, yelling, or avoidance can create greater distance and misunderstandings, potentially harming the parent–child bond over time.

Changes in Sibling Relationships

Siblings spend a considerable amount of time with each other and offer a unique relationship that is not found with same-age peers or with adults. Siblings play an important role in the development of social skills. Cooperative and pretend play interactions between younger and older siblings can teach empathy, sharing, and cooperation (Pike, Coldwell, & Dunn, 2005), as well as negotiation and conflict resolution (Abuhatoum & Howe, 2013). However, the quality of sibling relationships is often mediated by the quality of the parent-child relationship and the psychological adjustment of the child (Pike et al., 2005). For instance, more negative interactions between siblings have been reported in families where parents had poor patterns of communication with their children (Brody, Stoneman, & McCoy, 1994). Children who have emotional and behavioral problems are also more likely to have negative interactions with their siblings. However, the psychological adjustment of the child can sometimes be a reflection of the parent-child relationship. Thus, when examining the quality of sibling interactions, it is often difficult to tease out the separate effect of adjustment from the effect of the parent-child relationship.

While parents want positive interactions between their children, conflicts are going to arise, and some confrontations can be the impetus for growth in children’s social and cognitive skills. The sources of conflict between siblings often depend on their respective ages. Dunn and Munn (1987) revealed that over half of all sibling conflicts in early childhood were disputes about property rights. By middle childhood, this starts shifting toward control over social situations, such as what games to play, disagreements about facts or opinions, or rude behavior (Howe, Rinaldi, Jennings, & Petrakos, 2002). Researchers have also found that the strategies children use to deal with conflict change with age, but that this is also tempered by the nature of the conflict. Abuhatoum and Howe (2013) found that coercive strategies (e.g., threats) were preferred when the dispute centered on property rights, while reasoning was more likely to be used by older siblings and in disputes regarding control over the social situation. However, younger siblings also use reasoning, frequently bringing up the concern of legitimacy (e.g., “You’re not the boss”) when in conflict with an older sibling. This strategy is commonly used by younger siblings and is possibly an adaptive strategy in order for younger siblings to assert their autonomy (Abuhatoum & Howe, 2013). A number of researchers have found that children who can use non-coercive strategies are more likely to have a successful resolution, whereby a compromise is reached, and neither child feels slighted (Ram & Ross, 2008; Abuhatoum & Howe, 2013).

Not surprisingly, friendly relationships with siblings often lead to more positive interactions with peers. The reverse is also true. A child can also learn to get along with a sibling, with, as the song says, “a little help from my friends” (Kramer & Gottman, 1992).

In late adolescence, as teens become more independent, research has shown a decline in the frequency of interactions between siblings, as presumably peers and romantic relationships become more central to the lives of young people. Aquilino (2006) suggests that during this transition, the task may be to maintain enough of a sibling bond so that there will be a foundation for this relationship in later life. Those who are successful can often move away from the “older-younger” sibling conflicts of childhood, toward an equal relationship between two adults. Siblings that were close to each other in childhood are typically close in adulthood (Gass et al., 2007), and in fact, it is unusual for siblings to develop closeness for the first time in adulthood. Overall, the majority of adult sibling relationships are close (Cicirelli, 2009).

Influence of family on children

The influence of family on children’s development is both profound and long-lasting. For instance, the quality of attachment formed in infancy can predict socioemotional outcomes well into adulthood (Groh & Fearon, 2017). Children who have a secure and positive relationship with their caregivers are more likely to develop strong social-emotional skills, display prosocial behavior, form high-quality friendships, and be well-liked by peers. In contrast, children who lack a supportive caregiver relationship are at greater risk for difficulties in these areas.

Parental influence extends beyond socioemotional development and plays a crucial role in shaping children’s cognitive growth as well. The home environment and parents’ attitudes can significantly impact a child’s learning. For example, research has shown that children whose parents are anxious or avoidant about math tend to perform worse in the subject, compared to those whose parents express confidence and a positive attitude toward math (Casad et al., 2015) . This highlights the powerful role that parental beliefs and behaviors play in shaping children’s academic outcomes.

While peers become increasingly important as children grow older, family continues to play a crucial role in children’s development throughout middle childhood and adolescence. The influence of caregivers remains strong, shaping children’s emotional well-being, values, academic motivation, and overall development. It is important to recognize the enduring impact of the family environment, and caregivers should strive to provide supportive, responsive, and nurturing conditions that promote healthy growth and adjustment during these formative years.